A (Blasphemous and) Funny Conversation with my Husband

Necessary backstory: My (Christian) husband and I are always joking that he’s basically a dog and I’m basically a cat.

So a few weeks ago, I was reading How the Irish Saved Civilization by Thomas Cahill, and a section gave me the most blasphemous thought I have ever had. While writing about a Middle Ages chalice for use in communion in comparison to a bronze age cauldron that depicts human sacrifice, Cahill says:

It is the most extraordinary metal-work of the early Middle Ages, both barbaric and refined, solid and airy, bold and restrained. Like the Cauldron, it was forged for ritual, but it makes a happier statement about sacrifice, for the God to whom it is dedicated no longer demands that we nourish him and thus become one with his godhead. The transaction has been reversed: he offers himself to us as heavenly nourishment. In this new “economy,” we drink the Blood of God, and all become one by partaking of the one cup, the one destiny.”

So I thought, if in Christianity, it is God who gives the blood sacrifice to man, does that make God the worshiper and Man the Gods? I told my husband about my blasphemous thought. He laughed and said it was in fact the most blasphemous thing I’d ever said. He’s used to me blowing his mind with how much I can blaspheme by purposefully misunderstanding Christianity.

Anyway, my mother-in-law gets a daily joke email and sometimes forwards them to us when she particularly likes a joke. Today’s joke was this:

“Dog: You pet me, feed me, play with me, love me … you must be a god!
Cat: You pet me, feed me, play with me, love me … I must be a god!”

So my husband responded to me with this email:

“The joke is just like the blasphemous comment you made the other day with the sacrifice thing. Christians think like the dog and your thought is in line with the cat. :)”

And I responded to him with this email:

“The joke reminds me of my blasphemous thought. I guess the difference between pagan gods and Christian ones is whether they are dogs or cats. :)”

And then I responded with this:

“Hilarious. I sent that before I read your response. We must think alike even though you’re a dog and I’m a cat. :)”

And he finished the conversation with this:

“Yep. and that right there explains our whole relationship. Me the dog, you the cat. :)”



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