On Leaving Philadelphia

We have seven days until we leave Philadelphia for good. We have no furniture, save for an old mattress we’re giving away to a friend. I am dancing in the living room.

I’m surprised at how unintrusive my feelings have been about this. My feelings are usually so ever present and strong about change, and with this one, I mostly just feel at peace. I’m very sad about leaving my friends, but I’m looking forward to this new life in the South with my family, with the four of us all together at last: My husband, my twin sister, her man, and me. A family living under one roof at last. I feel like I should feel so much more sad or stressed out about it than I am, but for now, I am feeling grateful for my feelings. I know that we are making the right decision for our futures. Philadelphia was never going to be my long term home. Charlotte seems to have so much potential to me–it’s closer to our parents, it’s a beautiful city where things are happening. The streets are not filled with litter. There are trees.

I think mostly, though, I’m feeling the present. Here. My last few days living alone with my husband, the beautiful apartment welcoming us. Goodbyes are imminent. My replacement has already started at work.

I think I’ve mentioned before that I haven’t felt Freyja very clearly since moving here. I’ve been getting much closer to Sif these days, but Freyja always comes back with such force when I go home to the South. I’m excited for this new adventure. I’m excited to see where my life takes me in a new city I feel ready to commit to. Perhaps in Charlotte I will finally have a real home.