Oh, boy has September been an intense month for me! The parents visited, which knocked everything off balance, there was the Fringe Fest, which meant three different performances three weekends in a row, and we had a rough week at work, so I’ve been working very long days, every day.
The equinox was a really great holiday for re-grounding myself in my life and my faith. Summer is my low-religious season, so I can feel my devotion picking up as the air is cooling–though not as much as I feel it should. We had a heat storm on Wednesday night!
I’ve been worrying a lot about money, since my boyfriend is still (mostly) unemployed. He’s been finding a lot of side work to do, but I certainly don’t make enough money to “bring home the bacon” as it were.
On the equinox, my sister, my boyfriend and I went to our local park. We found a bench from which we had a good view of the full moon sitting in the sky over the church on the corner, and we shared a pomegranate. Pomegranates were the first fruit I ever knew were seasonal–my mom talked about loving fall because you could get pomegranates. Up until that point, I had always just assumed you could get whatever you want, whenever you want. I was probably six or seven at the time.
Since converting to paganism, I find that my tastes in food are much more seasonal. And so for the autumnal equinox, a pomegranate is the perfect symbol of fall to me.
After that, my sister went home, and I took my shoes off and walked around in the grass. And it all came rushing back to me–my love of the land, of the grass and the trees. And how very much I have been missing them since moving to the city and fearing to take my shoes off because of broken grass and dog poo. But I took them off, and I stood in the grass watching the moon and all of my worries came to the surface. Missing the country. Being poor. Missing my friends from college. Missing when I was a Wiccan and I went out and drew down the moon every month. Davin held me as I sobbed to the moon and its wolf.
I also cleaned out my temple, changed the altars around to make more sense in my new understanding. I expanded Holda’s, made room on Freyja’ for Bast, and put pictures of the universe on my ancestor altar, so that it is now an altar to the Unfolding of the Cosmos.
I feel better. I feel purged and cleaned and ready to come inside myself and my gods for winter.